


How weird is he!

by trashandthecity



Series: Worlds Collide [1]
Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Action/Adventure, Comedy, Friendship, Sarcasm, Thriller
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-12
Updated: 2019-06-19
Packaged: 2020-05-02 07:10:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,540
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19194160
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trashandthecity/pseuds/trashandthecity
Summary: Espedito is an actor who lives in Manhattan. His life went upside down when his father discovers a huge continent inhabitate from Hunters. After several events he is forced to explore these new lands with his friend Gracie to solve some mysteries. During this journey, they will met some people we already know...





	1. Departure!

**Author's Note:**

> ALERT: Bad Words, Sex Talk, Irreverent Situations, Realism, Original Characters, Politically incorrect  
> Hi there! I'm new on AO3 and I will debut with this comedy.  
> Apparently, there are two words (not considering the Dark Continent): Normal Word (Our REAL World to which the original characters belong) and Hunter's World.  
> The plot is serious, but I've decided to insert some funny original characters:
> 
> Espedito Petracelli Wagner: Male, actor, 24 years old, born in Lugano, Switzerland, but had been lived in New York for 10 years. Son of Huldrych Petracelli (dead) and Alexandria Wagner. He is addicted to cigarettes, expensive designer clothes, sex and books. He lost his father two years before the beginning, probably killed. He is the CEO of the WCS, a diplomatic Corporation that manages the relationships between continents. He does a lot of sarcasm, sexual innuendos and insults.
> 
> Gracie Petrovsky Messina: Female, singer, 18 years old, born in Zurich, Swizerland, but had been lived in New York for 5 years. Daughter of Mikhail Petrovsky (Russian) and Francesca Messina (Sicilian Italian). Hopeless romantic, optimistic as hell, fashion addicted and loves dogs. 
> 
> Maxine Parker: Female, lawyer, 32 years old, born in Hartford, USA. Feminist, independent, single and graduated from Harvard.

Year after year, my life changed until I became everything I wanted to be. It was a cold morning like many in New York and, as before every trip, I was intent on completing the preparations for the departure. Where was I going? Well, to explain it we need to go a few years back.

My name is Espedito Petracelli, I come from Switzerland and I have expatriated to Manhattan ten years ago to follow my passion: acting. I am twenty-four years old and I recently won four Academy Awards. But I'm not here to talk about my spectacular film career, but about the secret and shady side of my life.  

Two years ago, I received a call from my father Huldrych’s secretary. I admit, before that I wasn't interested at all of what my father combined with the Secret Services, but that call marked in me a turning point. Oh, maybe I should also explain what my father did when he wasn't earning billions by making the entrepreneur: he is the founder of the so-called WCS (Worlds Communication Services), a secret organization that deals with contacts Diplomats and non-combatants between continents. And guess who took his place to save the world from an intercontinental war? Exact.   Apparently, my old man just got out of his depth, poking we all in a lot of trouble: far away from our continent (we'll call "bourgeois lands" for convenience), a very peculiar continent was discovered: it was inhabited by never seen animal species, giant plants and humans very similar to us, but with the peculiarity of being much more trained to combat and physically strong. Then, in my blissful ignorance, I discover at my own expense that some of them are very strong and use a particular power called “Nen”. They are regarded as "Hunters", they hide absurd powers and live adventurous and super interesting lives. 

Huldrych died during an expedition, his tracks were lost a few days after his landing. And those idiots of world organizations have liquidated everything by saying it was an accident!   

Today I am, after a year past – my spite – to try to understand how this blessed Nen worked and learn a little something to avoid crap out on my first expedition. Will it be a suicide? Absolutely yes, but it must be done. And now, after twenty-four years spent in science fiction adventures between Bed and walk-in closet, when I thought that walking on the largest stages in the world and be covered with awards was the culmination of all my dreams, when my desires had all Dior signed and prices with the four digits up (which I realized immediately thanks to my economic possibilities), I should throw myself in a completely different world, where my black card will no longer be the solution of problems, where I'll have to test hard the body but especially the mind. 

After I fixed my ash blond hair by adding more litres of lacquer and looking and regarding the mirror on the hunt for every little flaw, I turned my Saint Laurent suit and sunglasses. After I locked the door, I sneak in the elevator and try to stay calm (and what the heck, I can't afford to be seen scared). 

Outside the apartment building I was waiting for the only person in whom I invest a minimum of trust, my only true friend and a shining girl that I have the fortune to know since Grandpa Pedro took us all to Sicily to taint the Italians (the plebeians who speak the same language of us Ticino's but with ways of making much more crude) and enjoy, meanwhile, their fabulous beaches that are there to remind you that those whoever has bread has no teeth. Gracie Petrovsky, that's her name, had come with me to New York to become the pop star she has always wanted to be, I think the fact that every year she manages to bring home a Grammy means that she has succeeded. Partner of a thousand adventurous hunting sessions in the Prada shops, a golden uvula that made me shoulder in my first (and last, for now) musical, the only person I could ask "Hey, do you want to come and die in another continent?" and that as an answer she told me "Yes, of course!" instead of laugh at me, well aware of the fact that venturing in the midst of the Hunters was not just like the red carpet at The MET Gala or the walks in Wall Street among the most powerful men and women of America, but something quite different. Do not be deceived by his pink dress and her straight black hair, she has a strong and determined character that is also obvious. Gracie also has a double life: She's my right-arm woman in the management of WCS, nothing has ever made me doubt how this choice was wise. 

We both get on the limo that accompanies us to the JFK airport where we were expecting a secret flight that would lead us to the slaughter. During the journey, we were both super excited, we had no idea of what was waiting for us, but in front of that gigantic world to discover even death seems a subtlety. I lit a cigarette, she ripped a bottle of the best champagne in the minibar under the seat, it was a very beautiful day. 

Arrived at JFK, we enter from an unusual and way more shabby entrance than the main one but deserted. The guard, recognizing us, goes through various disused or maintenance runs, until we reach a little one, where we were waiting for our private jet black as pitch. Waiting for us there were two Secret Service agents in plainclothes with paperwork to sign (I'm not here to comment on all the crap that governments do to conceal this whole thing otherwise we would do night). 

We entered the jet and we sat on the comfortable armchairs placed near the windows. I couldn't believe it was really happening, it really seemed like a dream. At our okay, the pilot starts to get off the plane, while Gracie had been passing me a mint to avoid problems during take-off. 

Unable to wait like two children in the restaurant, we decide to assault the minibar to make the "iced tea" (codenamed that we used as teenagers to say "Long Island" cocktail) and drink to the new adventure that was waiting for us. 

We landed at seven o'clock in the morning, stunned by the jetlag, in a field not far away from Yorknew City, defined by someone the Hunter's "New York".

"I must tell you the truth, more than New York it looks like Napa." I commented sarcastic. Actually, I liked that place a lot. It was a metropolis, but definitely quieter than the chaotic cities I was happily accustomed to.

Of course, there were no iconic places like Broadway, Wall Street, Empire State Building or Studio 54... But who said Yorknew didn't have any?

I took my phone to check my notes, I had marked things to do for that day. First, we had to go to Swardani City, which is a few hours from Yorknew, to talk to the president of the Hunter Association and then go back to Yorknew to meet a so-called “Blacklist Hunter” for information on my father's case.

We decided it would be more convenient to separate ourselves and do both at the same time, since we were two. Gracie offered to go to the association and explore the place in the meantime.

"I'll call you a cab." I told her, reluctant to make her go around alone into a completely unknown world. Upon arrival of the yellow car, I told the driver to leave it exactly under the Hunter Association building.

"Stop being apprehensive. I'il call you as soon as I arrive!” She answered smiling.

After that, I went into the hotel to check in and get ready for the meeting that was waiting for me. I was there representing an entire continent, I absolutely had to be perfect. After having done a refreshing shower - discovering at my expense that in this new continent people use the red circle on the faucet to indicate the cold and the blue one to indicate the heat - I opened the suitcase and pull out one of the many designer clothes found in it. I decided that it was the turn of the Valentino red suit with the sequins - to remind myself and others who I am – and, after the usual hunt for imperfections in the mirror, I rushed down.

I searched on the phone the mail - that the genius of the secretary had put in CC with all the WCS members instead of sending it only to me - where there was written the place and the time of the meeting with this mysterious Hunter.

_“Akihabara Place – 12:30 AM”_

At the first taxi that I had in the corner of my eye, I started running and screaming "Taxi!", and then I reminded that I wasn’t in New York anymore.

Surprisingly, the driver stopped and made me go up. On the way, I notice that these were staring me through the rearview mirror. Did he realize I wasn't local? I don't think, since Yorknew always seemed full of tourists. Evidently he had noticed something too different from the people he usually accompanies. At that moment, I did not particularly notice and got out of the car.

Akihabara Place seemed like just one of those locals that I usually attend in Manhattan, very wide and with a nice jazz background. The curiosity to try their "iced tea" assaulted me. Because you need to know that Long Island is a cocktail that varies greatly according to the place: there are already substantial differences if you go to Staten Island from Manhattan, let alone between one continent and another what kind of differences there may be. I remembered soon after, however, that the reason for my presence in that place was worth more than just iced tea.

While I wondered how I could find this Blacklist Hunter, I saw in a table more secluded a boy with blond hair and horrible clothing beckoning me with his hand. I slowly approached, trying to figure out if he was turning to me, until he called my name. At that point I went up to his table and I showed up while he got up to shake my hand.

Showed up, he had a pretty hard name: Kurapika. I knew immediately that it was a guy with the sense of humor of an Ayatollah, so I struggled to avoid making bad puns.

"I made you contact from my secretary because I know you deal with the bounties." I told him, without losing myself in too many pleasantries.

"You know well, Mr..."   
“Petracelli!" I interrupted, not wanting to listen to the agonized violence that he would have perpetrated against my surname.

"How can I help you?" he asks me fairly dismissive. He was the kind of person who doesn't like to waste time.

"I think that my secretary has already introduced to you my provenance and the organization of which I am chief Executive officer. I would like to ask if there was a bounty on Huldrych Petracelli. "

"Ah, I've already got it." He interrupted me, beginning to show more interest than before.

He did not speak, he took out from his bag a sheet with the photo of my father showing a bounty of twenty million Jeni (the local currency).

"Is it possible to trace the author of this crap?" I asked, trying not to make my tone look too angry.

"See... The value of the size increases according to a kind of auction. There may be more people behind this. " He tells me in a compassionate tone.

We kept talking about my father, about the crime scene situation and the possible causes of his murder. Kurapika was an interesting guy, completely different from all the people I've ever met. His way of doing and his bashful character inspired me to want to know him and his story better. Even his way of speaking I found it so interesting that the title of "Mr. Crosswords", bestowed by the undersigned, he deserved it all.

After a long time spent babbling about criminals and hunters, we both started to get out of the table to go to the counter.

"I thank you infinitely," I said – we must see each other again. Here's my business card. "

"There's no such." He always answered with detachment, but decidedly to a lesser extent than when we met.

"Oh, don't worry! – I stopped him, while he was pulling out his wallet – it's for the time I made you lose. "

I did not know yet that Kurapika was the kind of guy that hates to be offered things, in fact the situation was going to turn into a marathon to those who first reach the cashier. I won, taking advantage of a moment of his distraction.

"I cannot accept." He protested, always maintaining a calm tone.

"Then we'll have to see each other again!" I answered, with a friendly grin, while I put on my sunglasses. For the first time, he showed something remotely comparable to a smile and we greeted each other.

 


	2. Why did you become Hunter?

I remembered, that night, of not having an adaptor for my phone. So, it began my odyssey in an electronics store that for an inexplicable reason had started to sell fishing rods.

Among the shelves, I saw a lady grasping what in my eyes looked like a gigantic vibrator, but far too big to carry out its work. I commented naively: You don’t want to; it may burn your clitoris.

At that moment, he turned disgusted by whispering something to herself. But, when I came out of the store with a nice supply of adapters, I saw her posing that gigantic tool to get one of more "human" dimensions. Well, that day I had done my daily good deed.

Returning to Mr. Crosswords, he accepted my invitation. This time, we would meet again to have lunch at the restaurant of the Kurama Hotel, a few blocks further from my hotel. This time he would bring a friend who were just arrived to Yorknew.

I felt strange, it was very unusual that a precise kind of person, schematic and accustomed to stability as the undersigned suddenly found himself seduced by the fascination of a dangerous and unpredictable world like the one in which he was venturing. And that Kurapika... Was it truly enough to look into his eyes to light the spark of curiosity towards the life that the hunters lead? It was enough to talk to him, to feel the depth of his soul to make something that "must be done" a funny and stimulating game? My thirst for knowledge, the thrill of risk and testing my person, of which I always had a very high judgement, were for me a novelty.

While I put my clothes in place trying not to crease them, I grabbed the phone and called Gracie.

"I met the president; he looks like a good man though I reckon a lot of slimy." Whispered on the phone.

"Come on, tell me, what did he tell you?"

"We will conclude a contract to secure the passage between the continents, but I have to wait to speak with other organs of the association." She said, yawning.

"Amen!" I yelled on the phone while I was trying on a pair of shoes that I didn't even remember to pack.

"And so, we've already reached a milestone. Rather, how did it go with the Blacklist Hunter? "he asked me, curious.

"A strange guy... But besides, who do you think can do such a job? – I commented, sneering – I will meet him tomorrow at lunch with another friend of his, you want to come? "

"If I can get rid of all these busy things by nine o'clock, i'll catch up right at the club. I'm very curious."

"Gracie, – I appealed, in a calm tone – thank you very much."

"Come on, there's no such! Now I get off, I'm dying from sleep. We'll talk more tomorrow! "

After the call, I pulled up the shutters and was pleasantly surprised by the brightness of the sky: It was full of stars and the moon seemed slightly larger. In New York we can’t see a star since the invention of the lightbulb.  
I slipped the suit from night and went to sleep, I wanted to rest well to face the next day.

The next morning, I was awakened from the dawn that, apparently, in Yorknew arrives much earlier than in New York. I decided to exploit that time before the sound of my alarm clock to take a shower. Meanwhile, while I was around the city to kill some time, Gracie came from Swardani City.

We called a cab that was passing by to accompany me to the place where we had the appointment. At least, we tried: a tall and bespectacled man, in a businessman's outfit with a briefcase in his hand (in short, a sad wannabe of Clark Kent), snuck into the vehicle and pushed me away. With the nerve to exclaim "Excuse me!". Shut the fuck up.

There are several things that, if you do not want to start a huge war with me, you must never (and I mean never) do. If at the first places there is killing my father or copying my outfit, immediately after those things, here come this: stealing me a taxi.

So, when the vehicle had stopped at the red light, I approached and, with nonchalance, opened the door and entered.

"Get your head out from your ass, damn it!" I ranted, just walked in. In the meantime, Gracie began to tell me about the details of her meeting with the President, that we talk about later, and then she immediately told me an outrageous fact that had happened to her that evening.

"Trey called me." She said, cranky.

“What? That slimy old ex of yours? What did he want? " I asked, quite revving. Trey was probably the stupidest human being I've ever met in my whole life. Of those who invite you to the cinema as a first date, for instance.

"Oh, what he didn't want." She answered me, embarrassed.

"He told me, and I quote… - she said to me, while I was not yet prepared for the bird that I should listen to later – that when I come back to New York, he wants us to do some backdoor.”

I got a gagging, even Clark Kent flinched at the sound of those words. And I understand it well: the fact that they remained "friends" (it’s a figure of speech) did not legitimate certain indecent demands.  
"God, what a dickhead. I hope you told him to go to hell." I yelled.

"Of course, who do you think I am?"

In the meantime, I lit a cigarette to calm the sense of slime that was entailed. Suddenly, Clark Kent opened his mouth: "You can’t smoke in the car, Jesus! You’re such a rude!" He exclaimed, shocked.

"We’re talking about take it up in the ass, I need a fucking cigarette." I replied, promptly, in a very annoyed tone.

Once I got out of the car, I realized that Clark Kent had to go into the same place. I Did not notice, also because the risk of finding me in front of Superman with Nen powers was very high.

It was about one o’ clock, Kurapika and his friend should be in.  We had the table booked with my surname, the waitress said that the other diners were already there.

I approached the table indicated by the waitress, to see a rather pitiful scene: Mr. Crossword was sitting there with Clark Kent entertaining a heated conversation.

Gracie and I stared at each other for a moment. Then then we started approaching the table.

“Nē, Espedito! This way!" exclaimed Kurapika raising his hand, pointing to his table.

Gracie and I approached, after the initial embarrassment, and we did the usual ceremonies. I greeted Kurapika, shook hands with Clark Kent and showed up as if nothing was: "Espedito Petracelli, nice to meet you."

"Leorio. – He said to me with a decidedly more calm tone than when he had blown the taxi, then he approached me and whispered – sorry if we got off to a rough start.”

I gave him a nod of condescension, then I expected that Gracie finished his presentations and we sat down at our seats. Only then I noticed that there were two other places free at our table, while I was staring at them Kurapika intervened: "Oh, there are another our friends that will be coming soon. They are also Hunter, they could be useful!".

She was far more disinhibited and friendlier than the last time we had seen each other. Still, it was only a day passed. It may be that the presence of his closest friends made him so... Vulnerable? I told Leorio a summary of why I was there, then we all started – to my surprise – to speak in a friendly way. Just like we've been friends for a long time.

_"Wow, people seem to be really friendly here."_ I thought. I started to animate the conversation by talking about what happened in the taxi.

"Kurapika, do you know a very curious thing? I met Leorio earlier." I told Kurapika, who began to look at me intrigued. Leorio flinched at hearing those words.

"No... Um... Sorry... I was in a hurry. " He fared the eye-catcher, visibly embarrassed.

"Don’t worry!" I pretended to be good-naturedly. "Rather… Gracie tell us about your experience with the SLIMD... er... President of the Hunter Association. "

“Bastard! Can you stop embarrassing people?" She answered, laughing. Even the blond started laughing, surprising me again.  
We continued to chat amicably, without realizing the passing of time. At a certain point, struck by a sudden dose of curiosity, I turned to Kurapika to ask him the question I had been in the first time I saw him.  
"Why did you become Hunter?" I asked both.

The two looked at each other, with a look like "should tell him?". Then the blond broke the silence: "As it is now in the public domain, I am part of the Clan Kurta. My companions were killed years ago by the Phantom Troupe, with the sole purpose of cavling him and selling their eyes."

And the whole table fell silent. Woah, I didn't expect it to drain all at the first shot. It was probably not even a fraction of his story, but for me it was very much. At that moment, I saw Leorio resting his hand on his shoulder. At the sight of that scene, a little softened me.

"I rather... Um... I want to be a doctor." Faded Leorio, finding himself having to break that awkward silence.

"Oh, Doctor... You look more like a vacuum cleaner salesman." I teased him, making Kurapika laugh too.

"And you? What do you do in life apart from bothering? " he answered in a light tone. "The actor." I replied.

"So you could be teasing me right now." He tried to whet me.

"And you're just finding this out now? I've been teasing you since we got here. "

"Oh, they're here!" exclaimed Kurapika, interrupting our interesting exchange of invective.

Then suddenly broke two children, who literally jumped on the two hunters who stood before us.

"Uh... - said Gracie, amazed - you have children!"

The two laughed in taste, then told us: "No, they are our friends. They are very powerful hunters!" replied Leorio.

"Now you're teasing me, huh?" I tease him, not believing a single word.

“Gon Freecss!" I suddenly found a child with raven hair, staring at me with a sweet glance never seen before.

In response to his unformal presentation, I elegantly set my hand to introduce myself. "Espedito Petracelli, nice to meet you!"

"Gracie Petrovsky!" she suddenly introduced herself.

I stood staring at the other child, stood aloof near Leorio. "Hey – I called him – come here!"

He approached, with a way of doing much more elegant than his friend and showed up in a much more detached.

I did not notice, I just introduced myself and listen to his name.

“Killua Zoldyck.”

I had no reaction, which amazed him a lot. "My last name does not tell you anything?" He made me, astounded.

"Uhm... No. Ah, I am not of this continent!" I remembered.

“Huh? Where do you come from? "

"I come from a continent a little far... Come I'll tell you! "

He accommodated himself in the chair near mine, while Gon was already entertaining a lively conversation with Gracie. I noticed immediately that, elusing the issue of the surname, Killua had no problem talking about himself. He clearly had a problem with his family, which I decided not to deepen at that time to not create other situations of tension.

“Uh! But you're such an interesting kid! What is Greed Island?" asked Gracie, who in the meantime had discovered that she was only four years older than him.

Gon began to stamper of strange things about the Nen, on a video game that works through it and then, he mentioned his father.

"Here... I'd be looking for my father. "

"Uh, did you lose him here somewhere? If you want, i'il help you find him!" I answered, evidently having misunderstood him.

"No! – He laughed – I never even saw him! I'm trying to meet him! "

"I didn't quite get that." I became more pragmatic, hoping I didn't really understand what I thought.

"He's a Hunter, he left me to Aunt Mito when I was too young to remember. I became a Hunter to follow in his footsteps and find him!"

That's what I said.

I told myself, initially, _"Espedito, do not do the usual hard-ass. Keep your opinions to yourself!"._

Here's another "hot spot" of me, the family. Maybe because I miss Huldrych despite he wasn’t the best father, maybe because my mother ran away with a guy that is at least ten years younger, but this is a topic for me almost taboo.

I just stared at those eyes full of determination and asked him the most obvious question in the world:  
"Why?".

 

 

 


	3. Endurance? Not for me, thanks

Seven years ago, my friend Carol McCarthy married a horrible man. She runs a PR agency and he works at the bank. To date, I only see her a few times a year when her husband is not in town.

"I didn't remember if I took the sleeping pill before or after dinner, so I drank a cocktail and I was a marvel. Then I woke up and realized that the plane was empty: we had landed in Milan for over half an hour. Even Robert (her husband, Ed.) had left me alone!" She told me as we were walking on the Staten Island to go home, we were both laughing. Only then I realized that there was very little to laugh about in that story, but we're not even half of this Upper East Side nightmare.

“Oh! Come into my house, I have to give you something!” She pulled me towards his condo, arousing my curiosity. It was a very beautiful house, in style New York with upholstery and upholstered furniture. That apartment was so serious that I felt like a fourteen at the at a friend’s house of which parents don’t want her to hang out with me. That feeling was not accidental because then I realized that in the other room there was the monster of her husband intent on sleeping.

I suddenly saw her return to the other room with a red envelope, whispering: "Happy Birthday, Espedito!". Then started the usual rigamarole of "Oh, you shouldn't have!" until I decided to open the gift. It was a pure cashmere scarf, 900. Then I thought, “Woah, suffering for love leads to something good too!”.

"If I fail as an actor, can I sell it?" I ironically asked.

"Of course! but, in that case, I want a percentage!"

We both started laughing loudly, forgetting about the husband in the other room. Whom, as not said, woke up and was very annoyed.

"What's all this fuss about?" yelled a hoarse voice, suggesting his habit to raise his tone.

"Sorry, honey! But Espedito said…”

"What were the covenants on the visits after nine o'clock in the evening?" continued to shriek Robert, growing louder.

"Yes, but it's his birthday!"

"You know that in three hours I must get up to go to London! Go messing somewhere else "

At that point I realized it was time to raise my heels, keeping me all the bad thoughts about that man. Or rather, almost all of them. I took the gift, my coat, I greeted Carol even though she was trying to restrain me and headed for the door. I approached the evil ogre and gave him my very personal goodnight.

"Good Night, Shrek!"

And then, I escaped out of the house with his incomprehensible screams as a background, trying in vain to hold back the laughter. Then I thought that teasing the psychotic husband wasn’t a good idea.

I wondered if their marriage was really that bad, or if those fights were some sort of foreplay. In that case, I would have been the element that triggered the spark of passion. Not even the time to get naked that the phone rang, it was Carol.

"I’m very sorry! I just can’t tell you how ashamed I am!"

"Carol, don't worry! He was just a little tired... That's all."

“No! He's always like that! He works too hard; he doesn't sleep enough and blah blah blah... Same old every night!"

A moment's silence fell, I had no idea what to answer.

"Do you think I should leave him?"

Here it is, the question I would have hoped never to receive. The question to which any answer is wrong.

"If you can't tolerate anything..." I replied, trying to keep myself vague, although it was clear my position on the subject.

Carol and Robert divorced the next month. For the first few months, she denied herself on the phone and became virtually untraceable. She moved to London and came back to Manhattan just to go to her parents ' for Christmas. I immediately realized that I had ruined a relationship.

But in short, where I want to get with this story that doesn’t seem have anything to do with this? What do Hunters have in common with Carol and her ex-husband?

The key word is enduring. Right or wrong?

There are people from whom we accept anything, allow them to kill us without feeling any anger against them. Is this what we call unconditional love for a partner, a friend or a parent?

That's what I was seeing at the table with Kurapika and Leorio, Gon and Killua. Two very close couples, where there is a maximum trust ratio. On the one hand there is the cheerful, intrusive and slightly dumber, on the other there is the gloomy, timid, reserved one. What if a friendship becomes so perfect that it cancels out on its own?

As we chatted among ourselves at that table, on the one hand I realized I had found a nice little group, full of people different from me and from whom I could learn a lot more. On the other hand, I immediately realised the depth of the people in front of me, of their sufferings and disturbances, which gave them a damned charisma, but of the dangerous ones that lead you straight into the abyss.

How healthy can a relationship be between two people who "complement each other"?

"Gon..." I asked him, while he turned away. "Why do you want to find your father?"

"There's no real reason, it's just my goal."

"Has he disappeared somewhere? Has he been kidnapped?" said Gracie.

"No, that's... He's kind of running away from me. "

This was too much. Me and Gracie looked bewildered as if to mean "This is super awkward!" (Just to quote Kim Kardashian).

"Why should you look for someone who doesn't want to be found?" we asked him gently.

"I think he wants to... He just wants to test me... Maybe. " He began to look ashore, embarrassed.

It was obvious that the situation became awkward again, also because the others began to look at me as if they wanted to tell me to stop.

"Killua! You're so quiet, tell us a little bit about yourself!" interrupted Gracie.

"I don't have much to tell, I’m searching something to do." He replied always keeping that dark making.

"Please tell me that at least you have a decent family!" I commented unhappy, aware that it was a decidedly misplaced phrase.

"They're killers." He looked me in the eye, in a playful tone.  
"Aren’t you afraid? I killed people too.” Continued the albino.

"Killua!" scolded him Gon. "It’s true, but he's not like his family!" continued the black-haired guy.

"I’ve seen worse." I said, also because that child had impressed me a lot for his pragmatism. He was a murderer, why wasn't I afraid? I was wondering. More than fear, I was aroused by a deep tenderness.

I happily noticed that the conversation became more enjoyable after that little confessional, they had not told me everything, but they were beginning to understand that I was not malicious.

We started talking again about the intercontinental issue, about the contract we would have with the president. They offered to help us talk to him, as a sort of recommendation.

Gracie returned to the hotel early because she was very tired, Leorio inexplicably decided to be in her same condition and to accompany her home. Gon and Killua went for a walk and I stayed alone with Kurapika.

"Do you want me to call you a cab?" He asked me, courteously, because even this time he couldn’t repay me as a result of a sudden burst of generosity by Leorio.  
"Ah! No, I'd like to have a nice walk. " I answered, teasing him.

"Are you doing it on purpose?" he laughed.

“Certain! If I allowed you to heal your debt so soon, I'm sure you'd disappear! "

"Oh, even... Uh... " He stammered. I smiled at him.

We walked to the hotel discussing of this and that when suddenly, we had reached some sort of understanding, all within a few days. Was this friendship perhaps? Keep in touch, staring each other and smiling without any reason?

If in mathematics we study that "a" plus "b" is equal to "c", then what are the addends to obtain a perfect friendship? What is the secret to make it work and make it last?   
My problem is not the fact of not knowing how to be someone's friend, but how to make sure that someone is friends with me. Among many people I met when I got here, he particularly impressed me. Will it be because we are one the opposite of the other?

"Kurapika."

"Yes?" he turns, looking at me.

"Why did you agree to see me a second time?" I go straight to the chase, hoping that his answer will be able to calm my doubts.

"In spite of your ways of doing, your aggressive character, your interests diametrically opposed to mine, I perceive that you are a bona fide person." Differed exhaustively.

“Random? Don't tell me you believe in the Sixth sense! "

"I have a more precise way of noticing it." He said, while from his sleeve a chain ended with a sphere was coming out.

“Huh? What is this? "I yelled, astonished.

"It's the pressure chain, I need it to figure out when someone's lying."

"But where did you get it from? You didn't have it until a few minutes ago... "

“It's made of Nen, you can't have seen it if I didn't activate it!" he differed, laughing.   
"Well, I declare! I didn't think this power was capable of anything like that. "

"There's so much more you should know... But have you ever tried to learn? "

"I found some books, but I think I need for someone to help me out."

"Oh, if I had time..."

"Don't worry!" I interrupted, "me and Gracie are going to meet an expert tomorrow night, that’s no big whoop but at least it's a good start.".

"Really?" he asked.

"Yes... I've never done anything like that, but it's always nice to try new things. " I replied, keeping me vague.

We continued to walk for another quarter of an hour, while Kurapika told me of his friends. He did not seem a very expansive fellow, but when those names were jumping out his eyes sparkled. I haven’t got a lot of experience in that sort of thing; I did not know minimally how a real friendship worked.

Of course, Gracie was a good friend with whom I have always shared everything, but it is as if she had always been: our parents were very good friends and since childhood we were always one at the other's home. When we decided to leave for New York we did it together and we shared the first apartment as roommates. Despite the difference in age (six years), although we have always frequented different people, we always knew who the person was to whom return after a disappointment, the person with whom to vent and laugh. I never had to tell her anything, because we always lived together all the most important moments, from the first prizes to my father's death. To know a person, to start to talk to him, to hang out with and then try to have a bond was a big novelty for me.

Back at the hotel, I stopped all the thoughts I had in my head and I pulled out my MacBook to do some research while I lit a cigarette. I found an online archive, inaccessible when I was still in New York, full of information about the absurd world in which I was thrown.   
The first thing I did, of course, was to look up my father's name on the search bar and, surprisingly, some results popped up.

An identikit appeared, which probably served the mafias to hunt his bounty as Kurapika had already mentioned, fearfully detailed. Among the various attachments there were several videos, but they were uploaded to the Hunter website, inaccessible without a license. I knew that I would not be able to get to sleep if I had not discovered the contents of that video, so I decided to immediately ‘use’ my new friends.

I thought which of those people would be willing to come into the suite. It made no sense to call Kurapika, since he was already in his hotel on the other side of Yorknew. I thought of the others: Leorio? Killua? I wasn't quite familiar with those two. So, by exclusion, I called Gon.

"You're lucky, Killua went out for shopping. Tell me where you are and i'il catch up. " He answered me almost immediately.

I was amazed by the willingness of that boy, but I decided to postpone the thanks to our meeting. Therefore, I just answered simply: "Tendo Hotel, sixty-fourth Street, Suite 126.".

A few cigarettes later, we were both _sitting on the bed_ intent on accessing that secret portal. I kept the license in my hand for a few minutes, it looked like a credit card.

"Oh!" – Interrupted Gon – "It's not the case _to do it_ in here, we should go to an Internet Café. There's one below! "

I have never had that in my suite in the best hotel a person entered my bed told me that it was not the case _to do it in there_ , but it would have been better to move _to a public place_.

"Why should we? The connection works! " I answered quietly.

"Killua says they could track us and aim for the license."

“Ah, how did I not think about it?” I did not oppose further resistance and went to the Internet café that the moor had mentioned.

"Pay some money to connect to the Internet in a public place? Shit! How far I’ve fallen!" I commented acidly, just entered.

"In your parts there are no Internet cafes?" he asked innocently.  
"I haven’t set foot there since 2001, since the Spice Girls’ videos illegally downloaded. Now we all have Internet in the house!"

Without further loss of time, we rushed to the terminal at the end of the hall, to be more secluded.

When the license was inserted the videos linked to my father became accessible. I was afraid of the content of them, especially because there was a reason why those videos were accessible only to license holders. To the ideas that passed through my head, I began to tremble in front of Gon. What a shame! This situation was making me begin to lose it.

"We open it together?" he asked me, smiling. I wondered what was the reason that pushed him to be so kind to me, since we knew each other for a few hours.

It was not really the right time to ask questions, especially because I realized that I was not sure I wanted to know the content of those videos. Aware of the fact that the doubts would no longer abandon me, I decided to grab the bull by the horns, and I instinctively clicked with the left mouse button.

It was a video of what looked like a meeting, where some people with obscured faces were just discussing my father's case. During the investigation nothing like this was found, so those men who were sitting down to argue were probably Hunter's.

I didn't think twice and phoned another one of my most trusted resources, which followed my game by homeland, in the heat of his studio in Park Avenue: Maxine Parker.

I met Maxine in 2007, when I bought my first apartment and needed a lawyer to fix my paperwork after the old one retired. An authoritarian, independent woman who divinely does her work. In addition to be my lawyer, she directs the legal department of WCS, the body that puts us in compliance with the various paperwork and systems the archive. She managed the drafting of the contract proposed to President Netero.

After we forwarded all the material, we decided not to discuss it over the phone. Both because at the time I was in a public place that – even if it was desert – would quietly have been able to hide some rude ear and because a phone call from Yorknew City to 432 Park Avenue is not really the cheapest and safest thing in the world. Trying not to leak too much information, we agreed to meet after an exact week, on the day we would advance the proposal in the Hunter Association.

After the quick phone call, Gon and I interrupted what we were doing before and ended up talking.

"How was your father?" He asked suddenly, in a tone so innocent as not to make even that question as very inappropriate. I really liked this side of him, a person without taboos. Many other people would have avoided the subject like the plague for fear of hurting me.

"Not much to tell, we had a fairly problematic relationship." I replied in a detached manner.

"I don't want to look like an asshole – I started talking again, pragmatic – but I didn't even cry at his funeral."

I expected an indignant reaction or a certain embarrassment by him. Surprisingly, he had no reaction, if not to ask me: "Then why are you here?".

"I feel the need to close this circle, I want to accomplish this mission to definitively cut the bridges with his ghost and return to work."

He smiled at me. I had said a phrase from a perfect and ungrateful asshole and he, a child so innocent, had smiled at me.

"I understand you, - he answered me – I also feel this need towards Ging."

"Went?"

"He's my father. I call him by name, I don't feel very comfortable calling him dad. "

"Thank goodness! – I was amused, pretending to wipe my forehead – at least you show some respect for the fatherhood.”

He laughed in response, with an embarrassed and amused look at the same time, he was aware of it as well.

"Rather... Who was on the phone? "   
"My lawyer. - I answered proudly – She’s going to come here in a week to talk with the president and finally conclude the contract."

"It's so strange to meet people from another world..." He commented.

"The same goes for me! I don’t know if you four are strange or we really belong to two completely different populations."

"It depends... How's The place you live? "

"I live in New York, in Manhattan, a beautiful city where anything can happen. Rather, do you live here in Yorknew? "

"No, I come from Whale Island, in the lost countryside. It’s very small and has the shape of a whale!" he said, laughing.

"Well, we can say that even Manhattan is an island, formed only by skyscrapers. I don't know if it's bigger than your island, but one thing is for sure: it's big enough to hold all my ex's."

We both burst out laughing like children, not realizing that we were left alone inside the building.

Meanwhile, I saw an unmistakable guy with white hair approaching us.

"Killua!" shouted the moor, breaking my eardrum.  
"See You Again, Espulito?" He said to me.

"My name is Espedito! E-spe-di-to!" I spelled to him.

"Don't blame him! He even misses the name of Leorio!" interrupted Gon, laughing.

"I'll call you Speedy!" provoked the albino.

“Oh, don’t you dare, Mr. Celery!” I replied.

Even Killua seemed to have become livelier than just before, so between a bickering and the other I decided to ask them about the Phantom Troupe, to find out if they could be involved in the murder of my father.

"Rather, what can you tell me about this Phantom Troupe?" asked them, assuming a serious tone.

"Stay away from them! – scolded Killua – they are dangerous even for pro-hunters like us! "

“What? Have you met them?" I asked.

"We snuck into their base, they're very strong!" replied Gon.

"Sometimes you can see them on the street in the night, they're scary even to me that I'm a Zoldyck!" intervened Killua.

"On the street? At night?" I began to comment mischievous.   
"Yes! And every time they use their powers it's a scary show! One of them materializes a very long vacuum cleaner." Gon differed, making me burst out laughing.

"I understand! Chicks with dicks, they're scary to me too!" I answered.

"No, Stupid! - Scolded Killua - That vacuum cleaner sucks the corpses!

Suddenly a light bulb went off. Was it possible that the non-discovery of my father's body depended on it? A vacuum cleaner that gets rid of all the evidence?  
While I wondered about how much would help an appliance like this in my house, I began to take note of everything I had been told. So, my job had become to put me on the trail of the Phantom Troupe and find out more on their account.

 

 


	4. Nen and Tranny's

 

After only five days in the new world, there were many things that no longer amaze me. But of the criea of cocks that screed at four o'clock in the morning on the sixty-fourth Avenue of what should be a metropolis were not one them. Or rather, not yet. In the spasmodic search of a hotel suited to my standards that had a fairly convenient location to move, I had not considered being near a prestigious veterinary clinic. The thought that those cocks were accompanying my nights, that were still too hot to sleep with the window closed, began to terrify me.

In another hotel on the other side of Yorknew City, where Gracie was staying, the situation was not so much better: under her window there was a troupe. No, not the Phantom Troupe, but something very similar: the whole complex of the transsexual hookers that was yelling under her balcony. She also had been guilty of a big mistake of judgement: she had not found a place in my hotel, so she threw herself into a search for accommodation in a trendy neighborhood that reminded her of Park Avenue.

"Honey, do you want to take a ride on my horse tonight?" screamed one of them.

"Someone helps me! I desperately need someone up my ass!" did another.

These sentences prevented Gracie from continuing her sleep, now corrupted by the screams of those girls. Mad about her loss of sleep, she decided to spite everyone else. The next morning, we all met to have breakfast, it was there that the Queen of Park Avenue triggered the bomb by telling her night experience.

"Have you ever heard something worse?" she remarked disgusted.

"Let’s hope so!" I replied, suffocating with laughter.

"What does 'Someone up my ass' means?" asked, naïve, Gon.

"Okay, let’s stop! – Interrupted Kurapika embarrassed, putting a hand on his friend’s shoulder – for today, you have learned enough, Gon!"

"Could you not talk about these things during breakfast?" Yelled Leorio.

"Look who’s talking! As if you had never opened the back door to one of them... – I said, giggling – you look like the pseudo-straight married men from New Jersey."

"Please, can you postpone this discussion when we have got something inside our bellies?" begged a desperate Killua.

"I haven't told you yet what happened in my room tonight..." I said.

"We don't want to know!" Said in chorus the two youngest hunters.

"Don't worry, it's nothing dirty. Unless someone is sexually aroused by hens. – I answered, In a calm tone – Because that would explain a lot." I concluded by launching a glance at Leorio.

“Hens? But we're in town!" commented Killua.  
"That's what I thought, but evidently someone continues to take literally the fact that a Hunter has to be loved by animals."

"I think it's all a plan to make us lose our appetite, so you’ll eat everything!" Veiled Gon, ironically.

“More or less. I'm actually on a diet and I'm bothered to see you eat."

Despite everything, it was fun to spend time with them, especially when the moment of the jokes arrived. A general Chuckle burst, then we passed on to more serious subjects.

"You still haven't told me about your Nen, Espedito." Kurapika told me.  
"What should I tell you? I don't understand anything yet... "

"Why don't you come with us to the course of tonight? Me and Killua are going to accompany you!" Gon proposed.

“Oh! That would be an idea! Gracie, you're in, right? "I asked her. Gracie, still asleep, nodded.

During the day I continued to do some paperwork for the WCS in my suite, in no time on the desk I had accumulated a large stack of sheets that I did not know how to fix, I had to pin in some files all the useful information for the mission. I wondered if all that writing would take me somewhere, but despite my skepticism about it I ended up compiling the cards that I would have to give to Maxine the following Monday.

Towards the late afternoon, we walked with Gon and Killua to visit an old master of theirs, Wing. I was wondering if this was the good time that I could really understand something that was written in the books.

"You don't have to worry, the guy with the glasses is very smart!" reassured me Killua.

"Hopefully well! I hope I'm not completely denied...” I said.

We entered an apartment with yellow floor and pink walls, with Asian carpets scattered here and there. We were aware of not being the only ones, there were at least four other people. 

“Gon! Killua!" called a tall, dark, beguiled dude who seemed to be out of the worst independent Japanese movie. Bad decorations, worse clothes… this dude was the incarnation of bad taste in every area.

"How long, Sensei! – exclaimed Gon with his usual radiant smile – they are two of my friends who have come from another continent! "

"Another continent? – He was astounded, initially – Ah! I think I understand! You’re talking about that New World that was recently discovered! "

Exactly. – I interrupted – My name is Espedito, she is my friend Gracie."

We all sat down to form a sort of semicircle around the professor, while he brought out the door behind him a boy with shaved hair and in karate.

"Guys, he is Zushi, my best pupil." Said Wing pointing to the little boy.

"Osu!" he uttered, as a sort of hiccup. I did not notice until he began to "sobbing" to every sentence uttered by his master.

When I, armed with my kindness expressed with the villain in a soap opera’s ways of doing, I pulled out of my purse an antipsychotic for hiccups.

"Do you need it?"

"I don't have the hiccups!" he answered. From there I realized that I should have listened that annoying noise for the whole duration of the course.

"To learn the way of the Nen, you must temper your mind and your spirit first of all..." Began to explain the master. Words that a guy like me, whose only thing that has been able to temper is his vacuum cleaner, should not listen. As he began to speak out on the Ten, Ren, Zetsu and Hatsu, Gracie and I began to take spasmodically notes to not let us escape even a single word, while Gon and Killua, who already knew everything, were relaxing and staring at us with sadistic satisfaction.

"So, to hide your presence, you need to close the Shoukos..." Churches Gracie.

"That's right!" replied the master.

"Okay, so far we're here. The problem is: how do I close these aura fountains? I don't even know where they are." I said.

“Now, it’s time to practice. Zushi! " Called the master.

“Osu!” 

"I swear to you, the next time he does that noise I'll get my hands on him." I whispered to Gracie.

"Now we're going to show you how Shouko works in the body..." He said, while the boy took off his robe by remaining in his underwear in front of everyone.

"What the fuck!" commented, disconcerted, Killua. "Where did you see it?" I answered him giggling.

"That's why we're in an apartment!" whispered Gracie. "Now you don't write any more?" inquired the Professor sarcastic.

"Focus on the _root_ of the Aura..." He continued to illustrate, arousing the laughter between me and Gracie. "Root?!" We both laughed in unison, trying to keep a low tone of voice.

"One of the special techniques to learn, if you already handle those bases, is the Shu. An advanced version of the Ten that allows you to extend your aura to an object, which is considered as an extension of your body." specified the professor.

"Learned term to say: not even after married!" I ironized, receiving a strong fist on the shoulder by the albino. “Stop! You're embarrassing me!” he roared whispering.

"Oh, me?" I did, pointing Zushi still there, half naked. Meanwhile, Gracie and I continued to giggle more and more loudly, also infecting Gon that for a chuckle he got a fist from Killua.

"To the boys who are laughing, could you get control of yourselves? Thank you." Reproached the master, turned to us, dropping the silence.

After about half an hour, with the same absorbed gaze of which you have in front of a car accident, we were still following Professor Wing who explained to us the way in which Shouko should be opened.

"To open Shouko by yourself, you need a time that depends on your talents." He clarified.

"Then it will take me a lifetime..." I thought out loud.

"Or you could do it by external intervention."

Did it mean that there was hope even for someone like me to learn how to use it? I realized then that Gracie and I were the only ones in the room that we had not yet managed to open.

"See, Master. We do not have so much time, I need this power only for a mission… " I said, looking on the ground in a tender tone.

"Let's see what I can do... Sit on your feet!" he bade.

“ Huh? Did you drink something bad?” I manifested, confused.

"Come on, let's go... You heard what I said! "

We stood up and placed ourselves in front of him, then he began to make strange gestures staring us in the eye. Suddenly, my body was shaken by a very strong sensation, never experienced before. It was as if something was coming out violently from my body. For a few seconds, I stopped seeing and heard a white noise in the background. When the sensation began to soften, I began to get lucid and understand what was going on.

"I think my spirit has just came." I exclaimed, sarcastic, making all the people laugh in the hall.

The master, apparently satisfied, finally made Zushi coat and dragged a small table with the wheels in front of us, on which there was a wine glass filled with water with a leaf left floating there.

"In this glass there is only water!" he exclaimed in a conquoted tone. I still don't understand what was so exciting about it.

"Espedito. Now, you will do the water test."

With the tail of the eye I could see Gon and Killua who were staring at us, interested in our outcome. Evidently, that test was very important, which put me in a strong fear of not overcoming it.

"Now, arrange your hands this way and concentrate to free your aura." ordered Wing.

I didn't know how I would have freed the aura, but I decided to follow the master's instructions. I rested my hands on the sides of the glass, concentrating on the water inside. Step by step, I felt the aura flow from my body, and I saw a slight movement in the water. Unexpectedly, the leaf caught fire, marveling even the professor and the others. 

"You’re a specialist... It's not a small thing. " Remarked the master's dazed.

"What would you say? What does that mean? "

"It means you're not part of any of the types we've mentioned before."

I looked around, in fact also Gon and Killua were left open-mouthed. I used to assume that I could not grab anything except some cheap power, instead I was part of a rare category, which was very much. 

After the lesson – which ended up being a birth – I realized that it was still eight o'clock in the evening. "Guys, today is Saturday!" I realized.

"And then?" replied Killua, annoyed.

"Don't tell me you're going to go to sleep?" intervened Gracie.

"I think so, I feel like collapsing."

"I'm not sleepy!" exclaimed Gon.

"I'd like to take a stroll among the locals here, I've seen some really cute! Killua, do you really want to go to bed on a Saturday night? "I asked him, compassionate.  
"A hunter should be worrying about Saturday night? – it tickled – thanks anyway, but no. I'm really sleepy. I'm going to get to Kurapika and Leorio. "

"Gon, do you want to come with us?" asked Gracie with a delicate tone and a smile to thirty-two teeth.

"That's all right with me! Come on, Killua!” begged the moor. The albino would not hear reasons:

"Go with them! You will join me later! "

"I think I'll come first to take a shower, what time do we meet?" inquired Gon.  
"No later than half-past nine, we'll pass there with a cab." I said.

“Hey! Don't listen to him, Gon! It’s okay if you're late, you make us a hooker and we'll pick you up!" assured Gracie, receiving a dirty look from me.


	5. Frenemies

 

Meanwhile, in Gon and Killua's hotel room, the moor was busy washing while the albino was there touring the canals in search of something interesting to watch. As soon as he got out of the bathroom, Gon quickly realized that something was wrong with the other: it wasn't so much that he wanted to go to bed so early, Killua had always been a sleepyhead, but his being so quiet for the duration of the return trip from the course.

"Killua, is everything okay?" he worried, approaching the bed where Zoldyck was lying on his stomach.

"Uh?" he turned, looking into his friend's golden eyes. "No... I just don't feel very well." He choked, staring at the floor.

"Repeat it by looking me in the eye!" Sang, smiling, the moor.

"I don't feel very well!" the other said, slowly spelling the words.

"Do you want me to stay here with you?  I call immediately Gracie." proposed Gon.

"Don't worry! I'm not that bad! Enjoy the exit."

"You've got my number! – exclaimed the moor, wearing a black T-shirt to match the jeans – Call me just in case! And remember that Leorio, in the next room, is a doctor."

"All right, Mom!" joked Killua.

As Gon was exiting the door of the suite, Killua stopped him for a moment. "You try to be careful too, okay?" said, thoughtful.

"Don't worry! I'll be careful."

And so, a few minutes later, while Gracie and I were stopping by taxi under her hotel, we immediately saw a dark-haired child who was calling us in a very animated way.

Once they all arrived in the main square, a retro, but very eventful place immediately caught the eye.

"Let's start with this!" proposed Gracie. We all went inside and then realized one thing: in this world our music had arrived, but it seemed to have returned thirty years back with the old disco music of the seventies.

We took a small table in the middle of the room, tactically in a position to dominate the view of all the people inside.

"Look there..." I said pointed to a seemingly young girl, dressed in a fishnet T-shirt and shorts with blue star-arranged braids. "She's a hunter." Gon commented.

"What? It's impossible!" I reacted, then I turned around and realized that the girl was staring at me. Soon after, she also began to approach, so I decided to do the same.

"Gon, let's go to take a shot while Espedito tries to get her to bed!" joked Gracie.

"Eh?!" replied Gon, shocked.

The girl's name was Menchi, she's a kitchen Hunter, the most important. We started chatting a little while sipping a drink with ingredients I had never tasted

"So… you're an actor? It's fantastic!" she exclaimed.

"Yeah, maybe one day I might try to get some movies to this continent."

"Do you come from that new continent that has just been discovered?" she asked me.

"Yes! precisely from New York!"

"Wait, but it's Yorknew backwards!" she realized, thinking I was making fun of her.

"Rather it's Yorknew progressed forty years." I joked, as we both gave up a laugh.

We continued to chat for a few hours, telling each other about our lives, until the decisive moment came.

"Would you like to come to dinner with me?" she proposed to me in a very bold way.

"It's not fair! I was going to ask you!" I joked, amazed by that girl's resourcefulness.

I accepted, so we ended up exchanging numbers. She left earlier, but she categorically refused to be accompanied, so I just offered her the last round of cocktails.

Soon after, I went near the counter where Gracie was sitting waiting for another drink for her and Gon.

"Okay, I'm going to date her. She's fantastic. I'm screwed." I told her.  
"Is that a bad thing that she’s great?" Gracie asked me, laughing.

"It's too post-feminist for my taste, she invited me."

Soon after, I began to look around and, suddenly, I saw something rather singular. So, trying to resist the temptation to laugh, I asked Gracie:

"Gracie… How many drinks did Gon have?"

"A couple, why?" she asked. So, with a grin on my face, I pointed to the moor as he was dancing in the crowd having fun with him.

"Oh..." made Gracie, astonished. Taking her by the hand and dragging her into the crowd, we reached Gon and enjoyed what was left of the evening.

That's how we brought a cherished memory of that night in Yorknew City: its infamous drinks. Gracie and I seemed to have held up well, but the moor had completely departed. As soon as we got out of the taxi and entered the courtyard of his hotel, we sat on a bench to calm him down.

"Gon, cover yourself! It's cold!" recommended Gracie, as Gon was running around the yard screaming, then she turned to me and asked, "Am I going or are you going?"

"I dragged him here, now you go!" I deferred.

The girl approached the moor and took his arms gently to calm him, looking him in the eye. The moor began to sway his arms as if he still wanted to dance, while Gracie pandered to him in doing so. "You're so nice..." murmured he, looking into her eyes.

"Don't worry! Do you know how many times I've found Espedito like this in the evening?" She teased.

"Look who’s talking! Have you forgotten when you were crawling all over Park Avenue because you lost your house keys?" I relaunched with an evil grin.

We helped Gon into the room, Gracie kept his mouth shut with a hand to prevent anyone from waking up and finding out what condition the moor was in at the time. We left him on the doorstep of his room, then we went back to our hotel.

While we were ready to go through roosters and transsexuals squealing under the balcony, Gon had to deal with his slightly angry roommate.

"Do you have any idea what time it is?" blurted, in a dry tone, the albino.

"Excuse me... I was a little late... are you better?" drunkenly choked the moor, as he fell to death weight on his bed.

"Why do you talk like that? What have you got?" pointed Killua as he approached his bed. "You're not…" went on, beginning to lose patience.

"Don't worry I'm..." Gon did not have time to finish the sentence that felt a strong feeling of pain in his right cheek, as he stared into his friend's worried eyes.

After a few minutes, the albino calmed down and began to look at the floor. "It just came out." He whispered. 

"Killua..." blurted Gon, as he was getting to sleep. "I’m sorry." concluded.

Meanwhile, under the balcony of the Plaza Hotel where Gracie was staying, the noblewomen of the night before returned, this time squealing even louder. But this time, the sweet and tender Petrovsky put aside all her finesse worthy of a Park Avenue resident and sat down at the window, with a completely different face.

"Now you’re pissing me off! We don't give a shit your ass!" she yelled with all her might.

"Hey, drunk bitch! Get down and tell me again!" one of them said.

"I accept the challenge!" she replied, as she dressed to descend into the porch.

Gracie went to the bathroom, pulled out a very large bowl and filled it with water. As soon as he opened the back door of the hotel, which looked just in front of the favorite place of the "Up-my-ass Troupe", she poured all the water on them, dropping their wigs.

The four girls got into the car behind them and darted away because of the humiliation they had suffered. As the singer was returning to the building, she saw from the windows of her hotel and the other buildings a few dozen people facing. They all began to applaud her act. She had finally restored silence and tranquility in that village. Gracie, satisfied with her work, thanked the audience and went back to sleep.

The next morning, we decided to have breakfast together again, this time outdoors. At the table under the marquee, there were Leorio and Kurapika perfectly rested, me and Gracie who were a little less, Killua a little quieter than usual and Gon who had not yet been able to sober up.

"Guys, did you sleep well?" said ironically Leorio, who looked with a sneer at the situation of the diners. "Who slept? I fucked the lady in the room upstairs!" I replied, just to destroy his satisfaction. 

"Here he is again!" laughed Killua. By now they had tasted at my breakfast dramas.

"Rather, what do those two have?" asked Kurapika, pointing to Gracie and Gon, one more downcast than the other. "Gon found out he couldn't handle the alcohol, and Gracie just needs a cappuccino." I answered, grinning. 

"Did you make him drink?" the angry blond blurted out, clapping his hand on the bench.

"Calm guys, Daddy hasn't had coffee yet." Joked Leorio, putting his hand on Kurapika's shoulder.

Meanwhile, I got up from the table looking for the toilet, while I checked that everything was still in my bag. Not even time to look up and look straight at me seeing two very shady presences staring at me: a tall guy wearing clown shoal and a creepy, very long-haired monster. They were staring at me, I didn't know what they wanted from me or the others, I didn't know why they were looking right in my direction. One thing is certain: before coffee, it was too much.

"Oh my god, no!" exclaimed the albino in a tone between fright and annoyance.

"Indeed!” I replied, pointing to the bag of the boy dressed as a magician “Look what he's holding! A men's birkin! They're very rare! Do you know how long I've waited, a major superstar, to get one? There are endless waiting lists! How can a fucking nothing like him carry it around like nothing?"

Everyone else started looking at me badly, obviously that wasn't the focus of the matter.

"I would wait to define those two nullities.” Kurapika said, "They are very dangerous people." 

Gon and Killua nodded.

"Look, Hisoka could kill you without even getting close! Sit down!" added Leorio.

"What? Hisoka?" I said, gasping.

The others began to look at me curiously, that name was not new to me at all. Then I remembered: Hisoka Morou was one of the main suspects in my father's murder, but he was found innocent on all counts. Despite this, he enjoyed messing it up by making us believe from the first moment that he was guilty, not showing up to any of the depositions and giving misleading answers to the trials. When his innocence was declared, it seemed almost as if he was sorry! Just like an innocent man convicted by mistake would.

After summarizing all the story to the others, I decided that I still could not be deprived of my physiological needs for fear of being recognized by that guy.

"Yes, but I should go to the bathroom. I'm going anyway." I said.

"I'll accompany you, you never know." Said Gon, as he got up. We walked to the table near the door of the club where those two were sitting, when Hisoka stopped the moor calling him in a false friendly tone.

"Hey! Who would have thought that you two had become friends?" he teased, with a sadistic glance, as his friend continued to stare at us without saying a word.

"The cases of life!" I relaunched, reciprocating the intimidating look. "Two beers each? Did us push you to alcoholism?" I continued to provoke.

"That’s what I like about you, dear Espedito, is that you keep playing with fire when you are fully aware that you might die any minute." He seced, beginning to prove his true nature.

I approached him, sipping some of his beer. As I laid down the glass, I looked him straight in the eye, hinting at a smug grin and said, "That's why I love playing with you."

We walked away from that table and headed inside the club. "Aren’t you scared by that guy?" asked Gon, frightened.  
"Are you kidding me? Four Academy Awards, not for nothing, dear Gon." I stunned as I walked into the bathroom door.

"And anyway, the other one is Killua's brother!"

"What?" I screamed from inside the cabin, making even the waiters gasps.

When I got out, I went on, "But how? They didn't even say hello!"

"Illumi does everything to wash his brain and take him home to keep him in the family business. It's a strange family."

"I guess so." I ended up with a hysterical laugh.

As I left the club, I lit the first cigarette of the day followed by a visual and mental shock that made me forget what happened in the next five minutes.

I just remember Hisoka disappearing into thin air and Illumi was holding his younger brother by the arm while whispering something to his younger brother. I don't know what he told him, but Killua's look at the sound of those words stuck with me until the end of the day. 

I walked away from Gon and intervened instinctively, screaming:

"Hey, Illuminati! What are you trying to do? Did it cost you so much to wait for me to get coffee?"

Kurapika and Leorio, willing to the side to witness the scene, put their hands on their faces embarrassed. Gracie, still busted from the night before, kept staring at the others with her mouth open, not understanding anything, Gon was staring at the floor. At that point I began to wonder why those two bastards had to show up just then, as if the situation wasn't dying enough.

Killua sat down, still shocked by the incident, while Gon and the others approached him to help him. I decided that I had nothing left to lose, that if that moron had killed me it wouldn't be such a tragedy because I would still die at another point in my life, so I approached him.

"You haven't answered my question." I advanced, keeping myself on the defensive.

"Do you really care?" scuffed Illumi, with a look similar to that of his younger brother moments earlier.

"Espedito, the coffee!" yelled Gracie, with a cup of coffee in her hand, approaching to my rescue.

"Excuse me a sec! Coffee first. – I muttered, looking away from an incredulous Zoldyck who was not understanding anything i was doing – Where were we?”

"What do you want?" he retorted, annoyed. "I really love my brother, it's for him that I'm doing all that." He went on, without showing any emotion.

"What would you do apart from performing this sad The Ring wannabe? God, you’re such a cliché!" I blurted out. "The only thing worse than a liar is a bad liar." I added.

"I don't know what you're talking about, but you better keep your nose out of our family's business. You have no idea how fond I feel for Kilu." He concluded.

"If I was as bad actor as you, I still be serving onion rings at TGI Fridays." I blurted out, realizing it was time to stop.

Illumi turned his back on me and disappeared into thin air. In contrast, Killua's despondency remained there for a long time. I approached Gon, took him by the arm and whispered to him, 

"I'll break him in half. I’ll put a knee on his shoulder and break him in half like a twig."

"You never will. You know that, don't you?" he replied.

"I know, I know. But, in my mind, I've already done it."

"You're out of your mind!" yelled Leorio, bewildered. "You're going to get us all killed if you keep going on like this!" he continued.

"The only thing that was killed is my breakfast." I concluded, while I put on my Chanel jacket.

It was now clear that this was a day to forget, but I was still unaware that the worst was yet to come. I had run out of cigarettes, so I went to the tobacconist to refuel when I saw in a magazine a beautiful man posing in underwear for Calvin Klein. It was me, in a 2009 picture, put on the pillory in a dingy Yorknew City newsstand.

"Espedito Petracelli: Is this how a diplomat should behave?" read Gracie, who had since recovered.

"This is the Hunter magazine. No one reads it, now they just do gossip." Kurapika comforted me.

"No, let me understand. What's wrong with posing in underwear?" I asked.

A grave silence fell on the bench where we were sitting, while everyone except Gracie looked around embarrassed.

"Are you judging me?" I blurted out, even more annoyed.

"You can't use your body like this, you look like a..." blamed Leorio, as I began to get more and more.  
"What? What am I, Leorio?"

"Come on, guys, stop it!" intrudes Kurapika.

"Don't piss me off because you can't afford to take certain pictures!" I continued.

"Ah, really?" he provoked. "Kurapika, you saw me naked. Tell the truth, who's nicer? Me or the rubber doll in this picture?"

"What’s up with these questions, Leorio?" the blond, embarrassed, blurted out.

While the others around laughed, somehow the newspaper ended up in Killua's hands. "Do you have such a strange abdomen, where are the ribs below?" he commented.

"I had them removed. Artistic needs, not for anything else." I answered, with one hand in my hair.

"That’s it! I've never done anything, I’m all natural!" he teased.

"Indeed, you look like an old man. How old are you? Forty-five?" I replied.

"I'm sorry, but you're out of the way. I'm 19."

That number made me cringe. I had just discovered that Leorio, who I always looked at as a boring middle-aged adult, was five years younger than me. If nothing else, this showed that I was very good at my years.

"I confirm!" the others said in chorus.  
"Women like me because, unlike you, I look much more mature. You may have a perfect physique and a pretty face, but you just look like a complex kid!"

"I'd rather be twenty-four and prove fifteen than be nineteen and prove forty!" I concluded. Everyone around me shuddered, exclaiming in unison, "Twenty-four?"

"Apparently here I'm the eldest... Never mind!" I calmed down, throwing the newspaper in the trash can in front. _"If nothing else, thanks to this photo I'll fuck a little more often during my stay here."_ I thought between me and me.

That afternoon, Gracie decided to make peace with the "Up-my-ass Troupe" to make them finally dislodge from the porch of her hotel. And she did it in a very New York way: he rented the hotel solarium to hold a party, where we were all invited along with the Tranny’s and other hotel guests.

"I'm not used to these things!" made Kurapika, amused, next to me.

"Why don't you take off this toga? Can't you feel the heat?" I replied, pointing to my summer outfit complete with shorts and an open shirt.

"Espedito’s actually right for once, change your clothes!" added Leorio, as Kurapika's embarrassment at taking off his toga in front of everyone grew exponentially.

"Where is Gon?" commented Killua. "He will be here shortly, he had gone to take a very particular outfit for the occasion. Obviously chosen by me." At that sentence, Leorio, Killua and Kurapika looked worried. 

"Here I am!" came Gon, happy as a clam, with a shirt completely open with nothing underneath and a pair of shorts.

"The best things come in small packages, huh?" whispered Gracie, approaching. "Darling, no. You're creepy." I scolded her, hoping that no one had heard that brief exchange of jokes.

"I told you it would fit you right! I can already hear the police sirens!" I commented, embarrassing others more.

"Let's not talk about these things, there are ladies!" scolded Gracie amusedly, pointing to the girls of the Troupe.

"Hey, beauty! You're really hot! Bring us your boyfriend here!" one of them yelled. Of course, to the word "boyfriend" a white-haired head gasped and turned the other way, but I'm not going to name names because I'm kind.

"Let's go dancing!" replied Gon, pulling Gracie by the arm.

Leorio laughed hysterically, then pulled me violently by the shoulder, whispering to me, "If anything happens to him, I'll make you die here in front of everyone!"

"Gon seems to have a lot of fun with those people!" said Kurapika. "He has fun everywhere, he's done like that." Killua added. 

So, even that day ended on a high note. Nevertheless, in company, there was always a way to have a laugh. I'm not shameless enough to admit it publicly, I hate these sentimentalities. But maybe – and I say maybe – I needed a group of friends like that.

* * *

Author's Notes: This is the longest chapter of the story and also my favorite one! I hope you'll like it, let me know with a review. 

xoxo.  



End file.
